Need i say more?

Geez.. it's been ages since I wrote a blog entry.It's been gazillion years since I wrote an entry properly.It's funny how I thought back that this was supposed to be my personal diary.Which of course, become very impersonal (duh.. it's online!)

anyway, after surviving through prison life for 3 mths, i'd definitely come to realise dat army is jus not my cup of tea. I mean i jus cant stand those mundane, regitmental lifestyle though it may seem to be all carefree esp when ure a high ranking bastard. Then again signing on or extending my ORD wouldnt be such a bad idea if i wanna earn some extra cash.

On a side note, i jus hated the feeling when ure in camp and the feelin inside you dat jus makes u devoid of emotion and stuff to the outside world. Honestly, I am not so sure why. But perhaps many other things have taken precedence over my vainnes. haha. bt really, as in wen ure in mainland u dun give a damn but wen ure stuck inside, everything else in mainland stuck in our mind. well dats jus on a personal note.

3 mths of not communicating wid the ones u treasure definitely didnt work in my favour. whether its jus me or not, im not very sure. but it seems to me everyone in my life has change one way or another. ok dats too drastic to start off with. bt dats not the pt. its jus dat it somehow makes me feel guilty and lk ive miss so much. Worst im not doing anything about it. Yeah maybe thats my main flaw i guess. Making empty promises became a norm and hence letting many ppl down from time to time. It all boils down to me not opening to others i suppose. Oh well maybe its best for me to jus lead my life and let others to lead theirs and not intrude into each other's path thinking dat it mite rekindle some long lasting frenship. at least it did offer me some invaluable insights on life.

life jus hit u wen u least expected.

well call dat karma, but heck if God does His faire share of blessings and grace, i wonder where my share went. damn, im being very impulsive but well i guess dats how life works. but you know wad? I'd say fcuk it. Fact of the matter is, I believe that, uh, our only karmas are the ones that are self-imposed. You know what I'm sayin'? We, all of us, dig our own holes.

Speakin of which A level results does make or break you. On one hand i thought, hey this aint too shabby u know, take a look at it on a brighter side. but on the contrary, ive realised how much effort and hardwork did i really put in esp on the subject dat matters most. I definitely came to me as shock more than anything to be honest. i didnt expect to get a U for GP. though failure is imminent when i realised dat i wasnt equipped with the right skills or technique to answer the paper. After diligently doing 100001 words, where improving my vocab was my prime target dat yr, it came to my consensus dat my lack of proficiency in English was really due to me not reading up much when i was young. I mean theres a fine distinction between reading what u like and what u're required to just so dat u're being kept updated with the world out there. Dont get me wrong, i do like reading about current affairs but jus to my own discretion. Well no point harbouring at it anymore. I guess the right thing to do is to pick myself up and built on frm my past mistakes.