milky situation

i got sick of eating chalk and in an effort to make myself feel better, i decided to buy myself a bottle of Rootbeer on my way home. if you know me at all, you'll know that to me, Rootbeer can fix anything. ANYTHING!

anyway, i walked past my doctor's clinic (it's next to 7-11) and saw that there were less than 10 people waiting so i decided to get more drugs from him.

in any case, for the past two days, ive been drinking milk because several people, including a medical website, told me that it'd help. so i drank and drank even though i hated milk. i drank milk in the morning, during the day and before i slept, while constantly worrying about the milk causing my ass to expand even further.( yeah man! i've realise my ass is bigger than i thought)

when i got to the doctor's, he told me i should stay away from milk.

well done.

so all i've done was contribute to the agonizing pain that i'm in.

but it's okay, my doctor has provided me with many forms of pain relief, including a white milky
solution which tastes like ground chalk mixed with milk.

i'm now resigned to my chalk consumption fate. so far, it hasn't helped one bit. bah.

You know, I'm glad the doctor told me to quit drinking milk. If I were to drink any more of it, my ass will probably take over the world and smother everyone to death.

Oh well. Time for more chalk!