Poop and Fart

i watched a particularly insightful episode of Oprah today dat i apparently taped a long time ago.

yes, about poop and farts.

and i'm here to share with you, naturally.

so basically, what i gathered from the episode was that the poop shape that you'd want to achieve is one with curves. Especially if it's an S-shaped curve, which is best.

and when the poop hits the water (or hole in the ground if you live in the rural area?), it should not be a 'plop' but it should make a sound like when a diver from Acapulco hits the water.

Doctor's analogy!

hur hur.

and apparently the bowel is an organ that is most like the brain. so when someone says you've got shit for brains, say Thank you.

It's a compliment.

Okay, the doctor didn't say that. But he did, about the bowel being like the brain!

Also, men and women both fart at least 14 times a day. So friends of mine, when I fart in the car and lock the windows, remember not to yell and pretend that you're dying of suffocation.

It's my health on the line, people!